A: Dear Anal Curious,

The fact that your husband likes anal stimulation only means for sure that he has an anus and is aware that he finds it erotic. The anal area has more nerve endings than the penis or the vagina therefore it is very sensitive to touch. The prostate is also the male g-spot, not to be missed by any man of any sexual orientation, which can take the male orgasm to a whole new level. It is a myth that only gay men like anal stimulation. I have in fact encountered both gay and straight individuals who are anal-erotic and who dislike anal stimulation. Your husband's sexual orientation is not linked to which parts of his body he finds erogenous. From my research, strict categories of Gay and Straight are also a myth. We are all a wonderfully diverse combination of curiosities and desires and that is the best part. I feel oversimplification and categorization in the area of sexuality does not serve us. So, be happy that your partner feels trusting and open enough to be honest with you about what he really likes. His honest communication and freedom in your interactions is a gift that not all people experience in relationships. I say, why not enjoy all of the real estate, you own it!!

A: Dear Pissed Off,

After years of wondering how our foremothers and foresisters treated this very common female infection before antibiotics, I took it upon myself to do some personal research. I found that a commonly available (at any health food store) herbal treatment works like a charm!! Yes, I have tested this on myself. Of course I must urge you to consult a qualified herbalist before taking anything. The cure I have found best once you have an UTI is to take large doses of vitamin C (4000 mg) every few hours. This acidifies the urinary tract, making it an inhospitable environment for bacteria to grow. Marshmallow Root is a herb that soothes mucus membranes of the urethra and surrounding area. For an acute infection I take double the recommended dose and every hours. Uva Ursi is a natural antibiotic and diuretic. This herb should only be taken at the time of infection/occasionally and is not meant as a preventive or ongoing supplement. Take the maximum dose, every few hours when you need it though. Nature's Way has a great formula called "KB" (Kidney Bladder) that combines a number of herbs and is meant also for occasional usage/encase of an acute UTI. I find doubling the dosage on this one works well also. Taking these 4 things in combination, every few hours has never failed me. Even though you feel like you may rattle if you jump up and down after that many herbal pills, I find I feel much healthier than when I take antibiotics regularely. Antibiotics can have nasty side effects like yeast infections and destroy the good bacteria and PH balance in your body. Also, as a wise GP once said to me, "we want to give you antibiotics as infrequently as possible so you are not resistant to them when you really need of them." Make sure you increase your water intake to about 12 glasses a day or more during this process to flush your system and keep your other organs healthy in the process. From my experience 1 to 2 days of this routine is enough. Once you notice the symptoms going away you can decrease the quantity and frequency of the herbs over the next couple of days.
Summary for acute

UTI:
Vitamin C

Marshmallow Root

Uva Ursi

Nature's Way, KB (Kidney Bladder) formula

Lots of water

For prevention I find large daily doses of Vitamin C and Marshmallow Root work well. Cranberry capsules can also be helpful. Make sure you take the capsules and not the juice (unless it is pure un-sweetened Cranberry juice, available at health food stores - which is very sour and will make your lips pucker) because all commercial cranberry juice is so diluted and sweetened that it has virtually no medicinal effects. In fact the sweetness of commercial cranberry juice can promote bacterial growth and aggravate your infection. If you know you are going to have intercourse it helps to take an extra dose right before you start and one after for extra prevention.

Summary for Daily Prevention:

Vitamin C

Marshmallow Root

Cranberry Capsules

Lots of water

Never have sex when you are angry!!

My experience is that over time, as the urinary tract regains health and strengthens with the herbal support, I have needed to take less and less to maintain health and enjoy sex without fear of infection!!! Of course I must urge you to consult a qualified herbalist before taking anything.

A: There are various different formulas that would allegedly calculate the amount of time you need to get over your last relationship. Some say, three months for every year you were together. If you were together for less than a year, then it is one week for every two months you were together. For example, if you were together for three years, it will take you nine months to get over it. If you were together for six months, it should only wake about three weeks to get over it. While it is lovely in concept to think that the workings of the human heart can be conveniently calculated in a slick mathematical formula, from my experience the issue is not quite that simple. Whatever the circumstances of the end of your relationship, if he or she moves away, dies, or one of you chooses to end it, it means change and human beings are not comfortable with change. Even if we are moving to a better situation, we naturally mourn or grieve the loss of what we previously knew as familiar. This applies to any area of our lives where we experience change, even getting a promotion. The stages of grieving are as follows; denial (I can’t believe this is happening), anger (Why has this happened, Why me), bargaining (I promise I’ll be a better person if…), depression (I don’t care anymore) and acceptance (I’m ready for whatever comes). These stages are not necessarily experienced in this order or one at a time. It is important allow this process to run its course so you can be clear and attract what you want in the next relationship you enter into. From my professional experience a greater indicator of how long you will take to get over a past relationship is how emotionally invested or entangled you were in the relationship. You may also have started to grieve the loss of the relationship before it ended. It is very common to know it is over long before the end. This is important to consider. So, allow yourself space and time between relationships. Trust that when you notice yourself starting to think about dating again in a happy, grounded way, not out of desperation or loneliness that you may be indeed ready.

Originally published on www.datepad.com

A: The best way to end any relationship is to first be very clear in your mind, what the reasons are for you to end it. Your clarity will make the experience easier for both of you. Speak from your own feelings and experiences. For example if I say, “I don’t feel a strong connection between us,” I am simply stating a fact. I am not making a judgment about the person’s adequacy or worth. Avoid blaming the other person at all cost. Ending a relationship gracefully means gently speaking your own truth without blame or judgment and not taking responsibility for another’s feelings. Accept that the other person’s feelings come from his or her belief system and you don’t need to feel guilty because they see things differently from you. By speaking from your own experiences you make it about you. If you make the reason about them, they still have the option to try to change themselves and you have given them false hope to cling. Using a counselor or mediator to facilitate the breakup is often helpful. A third person can help both you and your partner feel heard and understood in the process and assist you both to gain insight from the experience you have shared together. Just because a relationship ends does not make it a failure. Every experience we have along the way makes us who we are.

Originally published on www.datepad.com.

A: The acronym LGBTQA refers to: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Questioning, and Allied. This acronym was coined by Dr. Alfred C. Kinsey (1894-1956), one of the most famous sexual researchers in history. His groundbreaking work started in the late 1930’s and continues today through, The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction. Dr. Kinsey discovered that little scientific data existed on human sexual behavior. What studies did exist were in general either extremely value-laden or based on very small numbers of clinical patients, so Dr. Kinsey began collecting his own data. Eventually he and his research associates obtained more than 18,000 sexual histories based on in-depth, face-to-face interviews. Kinsey, rather than separating Heterosexuality from all other orientations, put all of these orientations on a continuum indicating a broad range of "Normal", not just opposite sex attraction and arousal. His philosophy was that, “Only the human mind invents categories and tries to force facts into separated pigeon-holes. The living world is a continuum."

Originally published on www.datepad.com

A: Transgendered refers to inividuals who feel that the gender assigned to them based on the genitals they have is a false or incomplete description of themselves. In some cases uncertainty over the child's sex organs led to assigning them a physical sex. Transsexual is one of the ways in which a transgendered person may identify themselves, others are, homosexual, cross-dresser, bisexual, pansexual, polysexual or asexual. These definitions continue to evolve as our understandings improve.

Originally published on www.datepad.com

A: It depends who you ask! In general this question refers to the measure of the erect penis. No one talks too much about female genital size. Certainly for both sexes, extremes on either end of the spectrum can present issues. Various studies indicate that the average length of an erect penis is around six inches. The longest recorded fully erect penis (scientifically validated) was 12 inches (30cms). The smallest recorded normally functioning penis was ½ inch (1.3cms). Half to one third of the penis extends inside the man’s body. There is NO correlation between penis size and height, foot, ear, nose or hand size. The female equivalent to the penis is the clitoris. Three fourths of the clitoris is hidden from view within a woman's body, extending up to 5 inches inside and straddling the vagina on both sides. While penis size and shape is a matter of personal preference, the overwhelmingly most common answer to this question is, “It depends what you do with it!” Sexual satisfaction involves a wide range of factors including, emotional attachment, quantity of touch associated with the experience, perceived skill level, contentment, communication and compatibility to name only a few. Penis size plays a relatively small part in the entire equation. So, don’t rest on your size laurels big guys!!

Originally published on www.datepad.com.

A: This is a more controversial question than you may think. Most dating or matchmaking services will tell you to each pay for your own meal, to avoid any issues coming back on their company. Although, I know people who feel passionately on both sides of this topic, my advice is to bring enough money to pay for your own meal and if your date insists on paying, gratefully accept the generosity. Some men are greatly offended and feel undermined if you don’t let them pay. Some men think a woman is taking advantage of the situation if she does not pay for her own meal. It is good to find out what type of guy you are with. Ask yourself what type of guy you would like to share your life with. Likewise some women would not go on a second date with a man who doesn’t pick up the tab, they detest signs of cheapness so much. As one woman I know says, “Going dutch is for the Dutch, not me!” Other women are completely fine with paying their own way. This could be a question you playfully discuss over the meal so there are no surprises at the end!

Originally published on www.datepad.com

A: The answer depends on the guy of course. There are people out there who get turned on and off by every imaginable thing. Most men I talk to feel that the majority of the responsibility and risk of rejection falls upon them. Some men definitely do find it a burden to be responsible for all of the initiating. Bless their souls, they still keep asking. Many men are in fact turned on by a woman confident enough to ask for what she wants! Being desired is defiantly an ego boost for both men and women. In fact, since the 1930’s across North America dances, events and entire days have been held in the name of the mythical character Sadie Hawkins. Sadie was a bold girl in on the hunt for a husband. At these events females do all of the asking and often pay for the dinner or dance tickets for the males. So, if you just can’t wait until the next Sadie Hawkins event, get your nerve up and give it a try!

Originally published on www.datepad.com